It’s official, for the first time in 10 years I’m looking forward to Christmas.

My top tips on how to stop worrying and love the season to be jolly.


Start Early

You’re reading this, you’ve started early.

I’m sorry but if you ease into slowly you’ll be happier. Next time you see mince pies in the shops in October, buy ’em, whack on Elf and start humming a bit of Bing, the sooner you get used to it, the happier you’ll be.


Focus On The Booze

You’ve got to have something to look forward to.

I like booze, this qualifies. P.A.R.T.Y. Book yourself back to back festivities.

On occasions you may be drunk enough to forget it is Christmas. When you’re not hit the mulled wine, it’s warm, winey and cheap, it’ll knock the edge off.


A Bigger Scrooge

Finding someone who hates Christmas more is essential.

You are no longer the Scrooge, there is a big one in town, you’re now just a normal Xmas reveler, got on with it, get involved.


Yipppee … Recession!

This is great for two reasons.

An extension of Scrooge, you know lots of other people are suffering. This is awful, but still makes me feel better, so I’m winning, their losing, lets make the best of it shall we?

A much better aspect is the horrible Xmas exploiting retailer are now miserable, their pain and suffering over this previous Capitalist holiday helps. And everything is cheaper. This is also good.


Stop Watching TV

TV is a stark representation of all things that have made Christmas shit. A year of sod all TV has prep’d me well, I don’t have this pain to worry about.

Ads trying to suck cash out of you, the false sentiment everywhere and generally the constant reminder it was better as a kid.

All you need is a boxset, and a backup copy of Home Alone for any odd Xmas pangs, and you’re winning.



Okay much of it you’d never consider eating during the rest of the year, but there is a lot of it, and often free.

It also provides a convenient excuse for escaping any strenuous family encounters, the classic “I need to walk this off” can always end in the pub.


Enjoy Giving

Despite this being fairly girly I like buying birthday gifts, it’s fun. At Christmas there are too many of the fuckers,  so despite my better judgement, plan early. And it’ll be cheaper (see recession).


New Years Is Always Crap

Accepting that NYE is going to be a let down is key, focusing on what turns out to be a let down is a killer.

Plan great nights around it. On NYE, plan gin.

Merry Christmas!